I know I said I was going to start blogging again and now it's been weeks. The thing is, there are certain things I just don't blog about and lately, we've been going through a bit of a difficult time. Hopefully, it will be sorted out soon, but until then I'll probably remain quiet. Sorry
Today was my first day out of bed in about 4 days. I was really sick with a virus and don't remember the last time I felt so bad. I didn't have a cold & fever like Ethan did (who is just showing signs of recovery). I just had the fever side of it. I had a fever, awful sore throat, aches & pains, nausea and a headache that lasted 3 days.
Today I feel so much better but between Ethan being sick and then me, I haven't cleaned the house in weeks. It's neat but far from clean. I re-schedules Ethan's party for this Saturday and I have so much cooking, baking and cleaning to do I don't know how I'm going to pull it off. I have a friend coming to help out on Friday. Hopefully, I get it all done without flaring up my arthritis too bad.
I know this isn't much of a post and I'm sorry if it's terribly boring, but I'm exhausted & not fully recovered. I only wanted to make sure I posted something so a week doesn't turn into a month. I'll try again tomorrow...
My little man is sick this week. He's been sick since Sunday. We went to his grandparent's house for his birthday and he was given the gift of a cold and fever by his very generous granddad (I'm being sarcastic if you haven't figured that out). I'm really annoyed because they didn't let me know he was sick. My father in-law has unwell and unable to kick a pretty bad caugh for weeks now, but they didn't let us know before making the trip. I think they ddn't because they knew I would have re-scheduled our visit and my mother in-law didn't want to have to wait to see Ethan.
Don't get me wrong, I like my mother in-law very much, but I can't help being annoyed because I now have a sick 1 year old who may have to have his birthday party canclled to aviod the other babies from getting what he has. His party is Sunday and I feel like if I announce Ethan isn't well that I'll be stuck with a party that no-one will show up for because if I don't tell the other partens than I'm no better than the in-laws were for not telling me. They at least deserve the choice right?
The worst part is that I didn't even want to have this party. I've been so depressed about not being with my family and friends for Ethan's first birthday. I hate not being able to share the special times with the people I love. It's really hard being so far away. I was just going to have a party with some of the other Moms that I see so that I could have a photo for the photo album and Ethan can get some gifts to open. But it's not as if anyone will be here that really loves him (except maybe the girl who babysits him occasionally).
Since we've been back from our last visit home, my mother and I both got really good web cams and we make a point to get on at least once a week (if not more). Ethan really enjoys it and shows off for his grandparents who make a big fuss over everything he does. I had asked all of my family to get web cams, but it just wasn't a priority and no-one else has (which has been a big disappointment because I wanted him to stay familiar with all of them after our visit in March). I wanted him to know who they were. At least he'll know grandma & grandpa next time he sees them. Time's up - the little man is screaming upstairs. he can't sleep because he's too congested...
My Ethan turns 1 tomorrow. I can't believe how fast it's gone. My baby is just not a baby any more. He's been a toddler for 3 months already (considering he started walking at 9 months). He now runs all over the place and takes great pride in finding the biggest thing he can find and walking around holding it. The other day, he took me by the hand and walked me around the living room and he now gives real and proper hugs that just make your heart melt. He never stops smiling and he's a joy to be around. I am completely in love with my little boy and have to say that being his mom is the best thing I have ever done.
After my last post (ages ago), I decided to archive the posts that bothered me the most and remove them from my blogs history. It's one way to start over without deleting the entire blog. I thought it was important to leave the other categories but to delete what is no longer relevant. I feel better having done so. Maybe now, I can start blogging again on a regular basis. I miss it and I have so much to say.
I'm in the process of re-designing the Pond Hopper site. It's being done little by little because between my son and my busines, I don't have a lot of time. The main design is finished. Now, all I have to do is decide what's going to be left and what's going. I don't have time for the expat list anymore so I know it's being cut and I can probably guess that the music section will go as well. I just don't have the time for updates or maintenance (hell, I don't know the last time I played music for me and not my son). For my friends and family, I will be adding a movie section which will have movie clips of Ethan from the time he was born until now. Hopefully, I'll be able to maintain it on a pretty regular basis. I think it's important that the important people I can't be with still get to watch him grow. In the end, I think the site will be this blog, photos and my little movies.
We're leaving Friday morning to go to my in-law's house for Ethan's birthday. When we get back I'll finish the site and start blogging on a regular basis. It will be good to get back to it...
It's been over a year now since I blogged regularly. I really miss it. I think part of the problem is that around the same time, I found out that an important part of my past wasn't at all what I believed it to be. Finding this out changed so much for me. It made me look at so much of this blog and what I chronicled as lies. It made me not want to write on here anymore. I've decided the only way to resolve the problem is to wipe out the old and start again. I mean what a better time to do so - I am now a mother and starting a new phase of my life. What better time is there to stop looking back and just look forward.
As I sit here writing this post, my husband is telling me wiping it away is no way to deal with it. He says you can't just delete what you don't like about life. He says I should just write about what happened instead of just erasing it. I don't think I want to. Why go over it again? I'm fed up with it and want to start over...
Any opinions?
Ethan is teething. He's had one tooth break through and another is on it's way. On top of that, we've both been sick the last few days so there hasn't been a lot of sleeping going on. The poor little guy was really suffering on Friday night. He woke up screaming every 2 hours or so. Wayne tried to help, but all Ethan wanted was Mommy so I was on my own. The only thing that would settle him was laying on my chest. Once he fell asleep, I'd try to put him back in his crib, but most of the time he'd just start crying again. Needless to say, it was a very long night.
Saturday, we both came down with Flu like symptom, but at least he slept more than he did the night before. Being sick myself makes it a lot harder to cope with, but the thing about being a Mom is - you don't get sick days. It's a more than a full time job, but the benefits make it all worth while.
Yesterday was definitely a tough day. At one point I was so achy from the fever, I strapped him into his bouncy seat in front of his favorite baby Einstein DVD and took a 10 minute bath to try and feel better. I felt like an awful parent even though I could hear him the whole time and he never cried. He really is an easy baby with a great temperament. Even when he's sick, he smiles an awful lot. I'm feeling a lot better today and Ethan seems to be doing a bit better as well.
I did have more to say, but the timer for my dinner is going off and I've run out of time...
I just sang Ethan to sleep. My singing voice pretty awful so I find it amazing that he finds it soothing, but it works every time. What a beautiful thing it truly is.
I can't believe my boy is nearly 5 months old. It seems like yesterday that I was spending time in his room on the rocker (heavily pregnant) and imagining what it would be like once he got here. Now, I can hardly remember life without him. He is the light of my life. No one could have warned me of the instant love you feel when you become a parent. What's more amazing is that love grows and grow.
He's such a good baby. He smiles all of the time and he has such a great personality. He's quite the charmer too. When we're out, he smiles at every one he sees and he just doesn't understand why it is that not everyone smiles back. Sometimes, it makes him cry when he's trying to get someone's attention and they just won't look back at him. I want to just scream at them and say, don't you see my son is smiling at you?? But, not everyone has a personality like he does.
I'm finally settling in here (4 years later). I've met 3 or 4 other moms that I really like and make sure I do something social at least a couple of times a week. I also joined a post natal mom's group that meets once a week so I stay quite busy (although being a mom keeps me busy enough).
Ethan and I have a pretty good routine going as well. He sleeps through the night 80% of the time and today during his morning nap I worked out and during his afternoon nap, I did my housework. I'm finally getting things done, but still don't have much time for this blog. Maybe with time...
Ethan is 10 weeks old on Thursday. It's gone so fast. I know I never blog anymore, but I have a lot less free time these days and since I'm so far from friends and family - when I do have free time, I spend it uploading photo albums and movie clips so everyone back in the states can see him grow and progress. Unfortunately, it means I don't have the time to write and it really is a shame because I'd like to have a record of what these early days have been like.
I'm really tired. Over two months of broken sleep is wearing on me, but other then that, I'm really good. Ethan is a joy. The older he gets and the more personality he forms - the more I fall in love with him! He keeps me smiling and I can't stress enough how very much I love being a mom. I keep telling Wayne that it's a good thing I'm not young because I'd be wanting a litter! My age will limit me (mostly limit me in my energy levels) so we'll probably only have two, but it's a wonderful thing and it suits me right down to the ground!
My best friend is arriving tomorrow to visit and meet Ethan. I'm really excited to see her and for her to meet my little boy. She has 3 kids and is an excellent mother so I'm looking forward to a little guidance with the things we're feeling unsure on. She could only get away for a few days so it will be a short trip, but any time we get is a blessing and I'm thrilled she is making the trip.
I have to run, but maybe now that Ethan has a bit of a sleeping routine, I'll have more time to blog...
Our Ethan was born 5 weeks ago today. I am exhausted! Happy, but exhausted. Since I last wrote, my sister was here for a her visit (yes she was here for the birth), my in-laws came for 3 days as soon as she left and when they left, my father & step mother arrived for a 8 day visit. Our first weekend alone wasn't until 2 weeks ago and since then, we've been trying to find our way as new parents alone with the baby.
Wayne went back to work full time after my Dad left and my days have been crazy busy with trying to handle it all on my own. Today is a good day - not only did I get to shower before Wayne got home, but I'm actually blogging as well. I'm actually getting over that painful hump of sleep deprivation and chaos and into just sleep deprived and really busy. I have to say that it's all very worth it because Ethan is the light of my life and I just love being a Mom. Even on my worst day - I absolutely love it and can't get enough of his little face!
Wayne has been really amazing. He's such a natural Dad and is great with Ethan - it's been a real joy to watch and I feel so blessed to finally have the family I have always wanted. This whole experience has been just wonderful and I hardly remember life without him.
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